Yesterday’s lunacy began before coffee. Our beloved house Dobie seemed to be having a UTI (oh, the sympathy!) and we needed a urine sample. When I saw “we”, I mean her doting DobieMom (seriously, that’s on her car). However, it’s nigh unto impossible to get the dog to pee in a cup while keeping her from freaking out on the leash.
Imagine two adult women wandering around the woods in flannel pajama bottoms and sweatshirts, following a neurotic dog around with a specimen cup, muttering and cajoling, with occasional stops to squeeze the dog’s abdomen. Well, we looked sillier than that. When she finally squatted, she predictably freaked out when a cup was shoved under her rear end. However, enough sample was gathered in the cup (and on the shoes, the hand and the sweatshirt) to allow us to go back home and have sweet, sweet caffeine.
Leaving the roommate to her shower and laundry and the dropping off of the urine sample, I settled down to write when…a call from UPS asking if I was able to come in for a driving test with them in less than an hour. Note: I applied for a seasonal driver job with UPS – if you can get a job there, do! The benefits and pay are excellent. So off I went.
Spoiler alert: I flunked.
Driving the oldest standard truck in the fleet for my road test made sense but it was quite the challenge. The fleet supervisor was a great guy and gave me a lot of leeway, but a 25 ft truck is quite the challenge. It was also fun as hell, but I just don’t have enough training to be able to handle it consistently and safely. Driving down Main Street in lunchtime traffic in downtown Nashua probably gave us both a few more gray hairs. More specifically, stalling on the hill near the monument and trying to prevent the huge-ass truck from rolling backward and squashing a Prius did the trick. Strong warning: DO NOT TAILGATE delivery trucks.
I regret that I no longer have the opportunity to join the Teamsters, though.